Friends with benefits (FWB), Have I done this before, yes. So I’m speaking from experience, everyone!
BTBR stands for born to be real, this is a segment I started a while back and I thought it would be nice to bring it back.
Being friends with benefits can get tricky very quickly. For me, it started with a stupid dream, that my friend and I had sex, next thing I know we said “let’s just kiss and see what happens” and so it began! A long road of being friends with the casual sex every now and then, with the understanding that we would not get attached and ruin the friendship. It’s always good to get that sorted from the jump; feelings usually mess up a good thing you know? But I learned a few things about my FWB and myself.
First things first, I actually did not like a condom and neither did he, I didn’t like how they felt, but your girl is not on any birth control pills, therefore, a condom, he must wear. Another thing, I sometimes did not get turned on as quickly as I normally would, depending on the day, so because he was already madly turned on, I’d just ask him to use lube, it’s a lot more pleasurable for the both of us in the end.
After a few times of this, we started getting comfortable with speaking to each other about what we wanted and because we were friends, there wasn’t all that relationship pressure or shyness about it. He would tell me something freaky he liked and I’d tell him mine and when next we come together, we let our freak flags fly. I think in any relationship or FWB you gotta communicate and also figure out boundaries, it’s no fun if you don’t because you end up being shy and or feeling uncomfortable if he or she does something you’re not down with.
Some things we did not do but were tempted greatly was treating each other as if we were in a relationship like he was my boyfriend and I was his girlfriend. We both wanted to ask each other out “for the fun of it” but never did because we knew, that shit would end this wonderful FWB we got going on you know?
As friends we definitely did not want it to be all about the sex, again, it ruins a good thing right? We continued to hang out like we normally do, we don’t make it awkward after sex. of course, no one in our lives really knew that we were FWB and no one who we know will ever know.
He caught feelings quicker than I did later on and it made everything messy, he did not like seeing me with other guys, he would get very jealous and I told him he needed to check himself because that was not part of the deal… I would like a total B-word, but, in my defense, he said he would never catch feelings to begin with!
So if this is a path you’re on, it can be lit, but be careful! Seriously do not catch feelings, easier said than done, trust.