• S • BTBR | GUILT INSIDE

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Recently I’ve been battling with the whole “be yourself” saying that even I say sometimes to my own friends.  I battled with being who I think I am and who I think I should be. For instance, some of the women in my family are quiet and let the men lead, but my mother broke that chain when she married my father because my mother is a feminist even if she doesn’t know what that means when I call her one. So here I am, stuck between keeping the family routine or following my mother to set my own path, sometimes I cannot control it. If I feel a certain way about a thing, I voice my concerns even if I know it might bite me.

Sometimes I have impossible ideals that I strive to live up to, like putting someone else before me or to never disappoint people and to always be the happy one. These kind of standards are not only impossible but harmful to my well being and yours included.

Guilt is a major obstacle in trying to take care of yourself. Some of us are at the mercy of our guilt sometimes and when we set such high standards to meet other peoples needs, we end up forgetting ourselves and at the end of the day, we are the ones who are disappointed the most.

You have a choice. You can either adjust your standards to come close to your reality or change your behaviour to meet those standards you set for yourself. I’ll have you know, the former is much easier than the latter. 

Sincerely, 

Saje.

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