STOP THE STIGMA

jeauThis is an important thing that I want to get out there to the female population concerning size. It’s going to have two parts to it, but for now, I want to focus on the plus size females.

I was out and about in school today and I came across this gorgeous, plus size woman. She was beautiful from head to toe, and she came into the college cafeteria with some of her slim looking friends, she ordered for a poutine (fries, gravy and cheese on top) and I was behind her in the line to pay. When she got to the front of the line, the guy at the cashier looked at her item and asked “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” I was so shocked as so was the girl, and she was embarrassed and angry, she insulted the cashier about his short height because she said “since we are on the subject of physical appearance, you look like a $^&$#^ Gnome, asshole!” She still bought her poutine! I laughed so hard.

After, my long hour of laughing, I had asked myself “why is size such a big issue to OTHER PEOPLE?” Not even to the person who may be plus size but to those surrounding the person. I mean come on! Since when does anyone’s size affect SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE? This seriously baffles me.  Being plus size should NOT be an insult, plus size generation should NOT be looked as like aliens. When I was younger I was big for my age, I was criticized for my weight not once, not twice, but at least 300,000 times through out my childhood. I mean if it wasn’t coming from my mother, it was from my uncle, friends, bullies, or my high school peers that would whisper or snicker when I waltzed around.

I remember my mom sending me to a doctor to get checked out because the weight I had accumulated was not genetic. It got to a point that when I was fifteen, I gave up on food almost entirely, I would do everything and anything NOT to eat. For instance, I would do my homework for longer hours so I can skip dinner, I would watch more TV (and I didn’t like watching TV), and I would sleep in past breakfast, things like that. I slimmed down fast, but I was tired a lot, there were a lot of complications with that form of diet. It affected my school life as well as my personal life.

Eventually I started loving my self little by little, but it was NOT easy. If anyone thinks says self-love is easy, it’s not as easy as you might think. This is because, if you were like me, I was surrounded by so much negativity in my past that self-loving seemed so far fetched to me. I didn’t know where to begin with that. Then this woman came to my school and gave a speech about on self-esteem, and in that topic, the subject of self-love came up.

I was pretty ignorant as to what she was saying until she started talking about plus size girls.

“The gist of her story was, self-loving is not easy unless you are ready to love yourself. If your body is ready to give a big ol’ hug to your body but your brain is not, it won’t work! Both your body and your mind must be in sync and this goes out to those who are yearning to love them, or want to be a few pounds lighter.”

That woman doesn’t know it, but she had a big impact in me changing my way of living. From then on, I did some research on healthy living, and it wasn’t all about losing weight but mainly about feeling good outside and feeling a whole lot better on the inside. I stopped allowing people to tear me down, I even dished it out to my mother when we had a heated argument. I did the silliest things like standing naked in front of a mirror and saying “Hey gorgeous!” I stopped seeing all the negative things about my body and focused more on the positive and little by little my positive list had outgrown the list of negatives.

Now, I am not a size zero but I am not a size 26 or 28. I’m sitting pretty where I am and I couldn’t be more proud of what I’ve accomplished both mentally and physically.

To all my plus size beauties, I know you know that you are beautiful, but I want you to know that rushing weight loss, will be the worst thing you EVER decide to do if that’s where your head is at. Rome was not built in a day, so don’t think you can do it all at once either. Believe me when I say this, even when you slim down you will ALWAYS pick on something else, if it’s not your abdomen, its your hair, or you want a thigh gap (won’t happen unless your hips are right for it). So remember, MIND OVER MATTER, slowly replenish your self-love, and stop the self-hate.

 

sjm11

 

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4 thoughts on “STOP THE STIGMA

    • Coming from a plus-size chick. This is very amazing! I have always been a bigger person and hated my curves instead of embracing. Back in middle school i was new in the area and all i could think about was losing the weight before i enter high school. In middle school i use to get somewhat bullied but never took it to heart because my parents made sure i had whatever i wanted and i thought then if having everything no one can break your spirit. “yes i am fat but my parents made sure i didn’t look dusty coming to school this morning”. I would always say something back like this too people to let them know, i don’t care what you think of me. Losing the weight i did in middle school was for the wrong reasons yet i was so happy with my results. I remember when i finally reached my goal i cried with so much joy. Skipping on to high school, weight is down, people wanna speak to you now. I notice the change and ignored the people who use to ignore me. I tried so hard to stick to my diet in high school but people do not understand its so hard. I think i gave up on myself for a while then started back. I kept doing this through out high school. My weight went up and down, clothes became too big then too small. It went from people talking about me too be being invisible. Going on to my junior year of high school, my father passed and i was depressed for so long, i ate my diet up! That was really not my year, i didn’t feel OK, i didn’t feel pretty, i felt nothing. I felt like i was nothing. Eating my feelings made me feel so much better and i was never the person to eat my feelings i ate because it tasted good and i was a greedy child. LOL. But the food made me stop thinking about the hurt and the pain and my father. Food was really my new friend then. That’s why i do not understand why do other people have so much to say about the bigger person? What are they doing to you? Do you know why they are plus-size? That’s why i never understood the bullying because things can be going on in their life you do not understand or know. After a while i started to become obsessed with these new plus size models, they stood out to me. “If they can be big and happy so can i”. This senior year was mine. I was happy with myself and going into my senior year not being the size i have dreamed of i was ok with that. I was healthy, alive, have two feet, I’m grateful. Being happy with myself people started to notice that. I was shy for a while i had to break out of that. I started to dress my curves up and didn’t tear myself down. I took control of my life and i still am. Today i am a beautiful plus size black woman. I have no care in what people say or think of me because i know i am beautiful. I have So So So much confidence. i spend my time on instagram taking selifes and enjoying life. I may not be the weight i wanna be but OH best believe i can change that. Because i know i can and i know for a fact now that i will be doing it for me. But my weight will never come in between who i am. Whatever size i shall be i will always be me.

      • I love your story, I know the feeling, I always loved when I finally understood that if I wanted to lose weight it would be FOR ME, and not my family or friends, just purely for MOI! I believe when other lovely ladies understand this, they would not care less, and maybe, JUST maybe, it can help end bulimia and other eating disorders, if people both plus size and slim, can decide to start LEARNING how to love themselves, the world of females and possibly males, would be less of a competition.

  1. amen amen! and the sooner folks learn loving themselves the better. love it love it hun and thank you for allowing me to tell my story, amazing article!

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