I was out and about in school today and I came across this gorgeous, plus size woman. She was beautiful from head to toe, and she came into the college cafeteria with some of her slim looking friends, she ordered for a poutine (fries, gravy and cheese on top) and I was behind her in the line to pay. When she got to the front of the line, the guy at the cashier looked at her item and asked “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” I was so shocked as so was the girl, and she was embarrassed and angry, she insulted the cashier about his short height because she said “since we are on the subject of physical appearance, you look like a $^&$#^ Gnome, asshole!” She still bought her poutine! I laughed so hard.
After, my long hour of laughing, I had asked myself “why is size such a big issue to OTHER PEOPLE?” Not even to the person who may be plus size but to those surrounding the person. I mean come on! Since when does anyone’s size affect SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE? This seriously baffles me. Being plus size should NOT be an insult, plus size generation should NOT be looked as like aliens. When I was younger I was big for my age, I was criticized for my weight not once, not twice, but at least 300,000 times through out my childhood. I mean if it wasn’t coming from my mother, it was from my uncle, friends, bullies, or my high school peers that would whisper or snicker when I waltzed around.
I remember my mom sending me to a doctor to get checked out because the weight I had accumulated was not genetic. It got to a point that when I was fifteen, I gave up on food almost entirely, I would do everything and anything NOT to eat. For instance, I would do my homework for longer hours so I can skip dinner, I would watch more TV (and I didn’t like watching TV), and I would sleep in past breakfast, things like that. I slimmed down fast, but I was tired a lot, there were a lot of complications with that form of diet. It affected my school life as well as my personal life.
Eventually I started loving my self little by little, but it was NOT easy. If anyone thinks says self-love is easy, it’s not as easy as you might think. This is because, if you were like me, I was surrounded by so much negativity in my past that self-loving seemed so far fetched to me. I didn’t know where to begin with that. Then this woman came to my school and gave a speech about on self-esteem, and in that topic, the subject of self-love came up.
I was pretty ignorant as to what she was saying until she started talking about plus size girls.
“The gist of her story was, self-loving is not easy unless you are ready to love yourself. If your body is ready to give a big ol’ hug to your body but your brain is not, it won’t work! Both your body and your mind must be in sync and this goes out to those who are yearning to love them, or want to be a few pounds lighter.”
That woman doesn’t know it, but she had a big impact in me changing my way of living. From then on, I did some research on healthy living, and it wasn’t all about losing weight but mainly about feeling good outside and feeling a whole lot better on the inside. I stopped allowing people to tear me down, I even dished it out to my mother when we had a heated argument. I did the silliest things like standing naked in front of a mirror and saying “Hey gorgeous!” I stopped seeing all the negative things about my body and focused more on the positive and little by little my positive list had outgrown the list of negatives.
Now, I am not a size zero but I am not a size 26 or 28. I’m sitting pretty where I am and I couldn’t be more proud of what I’ve accomplished both mentally and physically.
To all my plus size beauties, I know you know that you are beautiful, but I want you to know that rushing weight loss, will be the worst thing you EVER decide to do if that’s where your head is at. Rome was not built in a day, so don’t think you can do it all at once either. Believe me when I say this, even when you slim down you will ALWAYS pick on something else, if it’s not your abdomen, its your hair, or you want a thigh gap (won’t happen unless your hips are right for it). So remember, MIND OVER MATTER, slowly replenish your self-love, and stop the self-hate.