Morning loves! Like I said in the past I would post another B.T.B.R that relates to reality as well as the community of IMVU.
HOW TO END A FRIENSHIP:
Let’s face the undeniable truth that as kids, we get best friends as fast as we can recite the alphabets as adults. Our motto, when it came to making friends, was the more the merrier! Almost like we had a squad! As we get older, our friendships transform and so do we. We may switch up our routine, things you like such as TV Shows, sports, foods, and music. Most importantly we talk, we talk about issues close to our hearts with our friends.
It also makes sense that as we change while growing so will our friend. So what happens when we grow apart with our kindergarten “BFF’s”? What happens when we don’t have that connection with our best friends anymore?
Do you go cold turkey when you grow apart?
Before you go cold turkey, first ask yourself if this is truly what you want to do? You always have to be certain. If this is what you want then don’t be harsh about it. Dumping someone is pretty permanent, so think before you act. If you still want to salvage the friendship, perhaps arrange an event for the both of you to rekindle your friendship.
However if this is not the case for you, that’s okay. It’s okay to phase out your friendship, but DON’T GO COLD TURKEY.
This is what you do: Limit your friendship to a phone call or email every once in a while. If you and this friend want to end things it’s best to not lie, because this person will catch on and find out what it is you’re doing. When this happens it can allow for a negative atmosphere between the two of you. Instead say, “you’re busy” or simply say, “you can’t make it.” There is no need for you to lie, plus you have every right to not mention specifics, unless you feel like you have to.
Have you ever been dumped by a friend? I have, it feels awful and it definitely created a negative atmosphere between the two of us at the time, but I let it go (*Sings Let it Go*). So remember that feeling, you don’t want to let that happen to someone else (or maybe you do… I don’t know). Just know, that it is very possible to be honest without being hurtful. It’s called “TACT”. When you use tact, it means thinking before speaking to avoid hurting the soon to be ex-friend. To help you remember “TACT” I always tell myself this when I get into the hot seat; “Pause, Think, Speak.” Here are a few dos and don’ts to keep in mind:
What NOT to do:
- Don’t accuse or blame yourself or your soon to be ex-friend. That can lead to the friend getting defensive.
- Don’t end it with a note or e-mail. This friend deserves a face to face.
- Don’t involve someone else to do it in your stead.
- Don’t feel guilty about it. You thought about it long and hard, there is no need.
- Don’t let the conversation get mean or angry. Remember TACT.
What to DO:
- Be polite. Remember your friendship, even if you’ve grown apart.
- Tell her face-to-face. (I still don’t recommend a phone call, Skype, or FaceTime.)
- Give this friend a reason why you do not want to be friends any longer.
- Give her a chance to respond.
- Stick with her until you’re both feeling okay about this decision.
- If either of you start to get angry, calm down. Recall; Pause, Think, Speak. TACT!
Most of all prepare yourself, because anything can happen. This friend may not respond the way you might have imagined her to respond, she might get angry, insult you, cry, throw things, or smile, and agree without letting you state your reasons. You never know. It’s important to be strong and stay true to your feelings. Remember to be TACTFUL, do not be enticed to yell, hit, or get mean. Remember KARMA. What goes around comes around.