Puberty came early for me. I remembered being a very thin tall girl with a big ass when I was only eleven. My aunties would tease me saying “I can put a phone on her ass and it will stay.” I would laugh because it was true.
When I hit puberty at the age of thirteen and everything in my body went crazy! From weird hormones to my breasts and my height spiralled. I was scared of what I turned into. I felt like it all happened over night. Puberty terrified me.
My clothes stopped fitting, even my baggy jeans did not fit. I felt like I added fifty pounds on my body. I stopped going to school, walking in public or meeting with my friends.
My mother tried to tell me that I was still beautiful. I didn’t believe her. Boys looked at me and I hated it. No guy ever stared at me so what made me different now? Was it because I was bigger?
I went into a dieting phase, a starvation phase, an I-am-not-hungry phase, a work out phase. Sure I lost weight but I didn’t lose the amount I wanted. I wanted my old self back, but every time I had my time of the month I felt like I gained it all back.
My mother got fed up with my behaviour and took me to see the family doctor who dreaded the conversation on body image. I told my doctor what was going on and she laughed. She laughed a lot. Then she told my mother to leave for a bit so we could talk.
“You are gorgeous.” She said. “Why are you hurting yourself?” She asked.
I never thought I was hurting myself, I thought I was doing the right thing, however, I wasn’t.
Eventually she told me all the science behind body weight and sometimes how genetics had something to do with it. Apparently my family had more muscle than fat through out our generation and that goes for me as well. She said I had the legs of a runner and body of a swimmer.
I left feeling way better. I had never loved my body more than that day. I was satisfied, content, and happy.
If you are like me, you’ve already been through this and sometimes it comes back creeping on you when you see other females in reality or males that you wish you had their type of body structure. It’s absolutely not easy to lose weight but its even harder when you are losing weight for the wrong reasons. For instance; you’re loosing weight for boys, friends, family, because your favourite actor is that size or because you saw a model you liked. The best reason is to do it for yourself and to do it GRADUALLY and not like me. Rome was not built in a day.
Everyone is beautiful and believe me it is sometimes difficult to say that. My advice is this, drop the magazines, stay away from bad social media that influences you to think stupidly. Grab a big body size mirror, get naked in the PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME/BEDROOM, and really look at yourself. Don’t find your flaws, but find what makes you beautiful because doing that is way harder! Trust me. At least more than 90% of women will think cruel thoughts about their bodies. Don’t be one of them. Think positively about your beauty. I DARE YOU!